Turtle is as turtle does
I'm in emotional turtle mode. That's where you develop a shell, and at the slightest provocation, just tuck your whole self in and freeze. Consequently, I'm not poking my head out much, and I'm getting even less accomplished.However!! Erin's coming to town for a visit! Oh, this is going to be fun. I'm going to take the afternoon off tomorrow, and we're going to cruise the Asian grocery stores. I don't think we'll have time to go into LA or Little Tokyo for fabric or bookstores, though.
I've been spending a lot of time surfing blogs, and doing that same o' same o' "not good enough" self-flogging. Looking at lots of eye candy, like the style and fashion websites... and then suffering in comparison. The next phase will be trying to emulate, then going "eww", and coming back to the existential "I yam what I yam." You've seen me do this before. (snork- here comes the little voice that says "do you think anyone's paying attention?)
Today is the day where they'll call with the results of the CA-125 test, if it's bad. If it's ok, or even borderline, they'll send a postcard. In a week or so. Such joy I'm having.
posted by Ruth S. @ 11:34 AM
2 Comments:
You can't possibly be a lazier blogger than I am! If I post one entry in a month, I'm doing well. And I haven't done sh*t with the standard blogger layout. So stop flogging yourself.
My excuse (when I'm inclined to whine about this internally) is that I'm TOO BUSY to sit down and blog about all the stuff I'm doing. Which is largely true.
The other thing that keeps me from posting is that I'm not entirely sure I like baring my soul online, you know? One has to have some privacy. Or at least that used to be the case before every tween was posting on MySpace.
Lastly, there is no rule that says that everyone has to blog. There was life before blogs; there is still life that exists without blogs.
Shopping sounds like a good diversion. I hope your test results come back with good news. Been there, done that, breathed a sigh of relief! (It could have been colon cancer, not breast cancer, in my case; but still, lots of anxiety.)
You are SO right. I will always be a bit of a narcissist, craving attention that I don't think I deserve. It's a recurrent life script- and blogging about it is one way to work through and get past it.
At least that's the plan. Along with frequent invitations for reality-checks-upside-the-head! For which, I thank you. No, Really!
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